MYST 3: Iron Sky

Nazis.

On the moon.

This is perhaps the most entertaining bad movie I think I've ever seen.

'Iron Sky' is a 2012 black-comedy action film about Nazis on the moon. A B-list movie with B-list actors acting on a B-list story, the movie is horribly overacted, sincerely globalized, has no rationality behind it's backstory, and might hold the new world record for the most scientifically inaccurate movie ever produced and directed, from its biology to its physics to its common sense.

And you really don't care. There are NAZIS. ON THE MOON.

The story goes a little something like this: way back in the 1940s, Nazi scientists discovered how to fly to the moon and continue develop of a collection of super-weapons designed to help them conquer the universe. Run by a tyrannical Aryan dictator, when an American capsule designed to promote an American presidential campaign is captured by the base's 'Fuhrer,' the moon-soldiers reconcile their plans and launch an invasion to take over planet Earth and establish the 'Fourth Reich.'

Basically, Moon-Nazis want to conquer Earth. Now onto the fun stuff.

I'd like to talk about 1 particular scene that captured the essence of the movie more than anything else, and is the movie's strongest piece: the cinematography. The scene in particular is one of the first in the movie, where instead of providing the viewer with a history lesson, it instead follows a panoramic of the entire Earth and then follows an American drone to the moon, where two American astronauts are exploring the surface. It's a very well-done perspective shot of the two astronauts, where instead of trying to focus on their emotional and psychological level, they are instead shown to be minimal in comparison to the size of the surrounding universe. It helps to establish a very sophisticated metaphorical concept in a movie with very little sophistication, if at all.

Another scene that captures the emotion of cinematography better than the rest of the movie is the scene in which the American is surrounded by a horde of Nazi superiors. There is a very well-placed camera with some sort of revolving dolly-shot which makes both the American and the viewer feel as though they're being surrounded by a group of racist, angry Germans. There's a very emotional capturing that doesn't happen in many movies, and for some low-ranked B-movie to capture that sense of scale and size in the realm of the Nazi moon base is very impressive.

The camera and special effects of the film are by-far the movie's most stunning aspects. For the directors to capture the scale and grandeur of things like the Nazi Swastika Fortress, the center of the moon base, and the entirety of the 'Gotterdammerung,' the sense of scale of the entirety of the Nazis and their lunar-based fortress of doom is incredibly portrayed. The CGI is fluid throughout the movie, with very few, if any, breaks in the reality of how the movie looks. As it remains so stunning and cool to watch,

However, these guys are Nazis. And the movie, as spectucalar as a concept as 'Nazis on the Moon' is, is riddled with fault.

The Nazi, or National Socialist German Worker's Party, is a German party. It had it's origins in Germany. I think the one thing that the developers got the most maddeningly incorrect about this politically correct film was the pathetic attempt by the actors to pretend to be German. One of the most interesting thing about movies, especially things about history and alternative history, is the idea of convincing the audience that anyone of any origin, from Austrian to American to Australian, can convince you they belong to another country. Some of the best 'fake accents' in film were Guy Pearce in 'Momento,' Daniel Day-Lewis in 'Lincoln,' and Don Cheadle in 'Hotel Rwanda.' When fake accents are pulled off, they create a whole new atmosphere for the movie and make it feel much more natural.

However, the accents in 'Iron Sky' really, really suck. Let me break it down for you: remember your foreign language class in freshman year of high school? You remember your first ever oral exam, when the teacher made you speak the language WITH the accent? You remember how bad the accent sounded? Now, imagine that same accent, make it German, and put it on every single character in this movie. That's what the accents are.

It's not even that the actors are horrible. Some of the acting isn't terrible, but it becomes so frustrating to critique a movie by saying that the best acting 'isn't horrible.' More often than not, it sounds as though the actors are 'trying too hard' to be German, instead of just letting the natural accent slowly take over and give the movie a more natural feel. While this is a B-movie and should be treated as a B-movie, it's almost pathetic how little some of the actors actually care.

Which leads me to my next point: the movie cannot decide whether or not it wants to be a cheesy B-movie, or actually lend itself to be an interesting take on alternative reality. Most movies of this genre tend to not care because the movie itself lends itself to not take itself too seriously. Thus, when a movie is advertised as portraying the ridiculous, ludicrous concept of space Nazism, there are a couple of particular scenes that depict a true idea of actual quality. However, this is quickly diminished by the fact that 'Iron Sky' has stolen just about every single cool science-fiction movie scene ever, from the space battles of 'Space Odyssey' to the brooding metropolis of '1984' to the brainwashed youth of 'The Hunger Games.' If you've seen a science-fiction action movie, it's been parodied here.

So, I'll wrap up this review. 'Iron Sky' is fantastic. It's a stupid movie about Nazis in space that want to take over the world. It's horribly acted, the script could have been written by a 6 year old, and the Nazis in the movie are about as German as Chicago hot dogs. And for all of it's miserable faults, this is not a movie to be taken seriously at all, and most of the time, the movie knows this. However, in those few instances where it tries to be serious, it ends up creating a counterbalance between credulity and stupidity, and leaves the viewer, at times, laughing at the movie, and not with it.

So yes. 'Iron Sky' is a bad movie. But it's one of those 'bad movies' that you'll be on the edge of your seat, laughing, and appreciating the sheer.....'bad-ass-ness' of just how entertaining In the end, it's about Nazis on the moon. And that's what's important.

I give 'Iron Sky' a 4/10.